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By: Sandi Durell



Currently in repertory at Urban Stages, this two part one-hander, written and performed by Robert Dubac, sets the tone with the opening music “If I Only Had a Brain!”

For 75 minutes, Dubac transitions through the difficulties of the age old divide of the female and male dilemma that pits the sexes against each other. He, with a brain empty and cluttered – she with that extra chromosome. What do women want? The many books he thumbs have unending answers; but equal just isn’t equal. For instance multi tasking for males means reading while on the toilet whereas for women it’s more like putting on makeup while driving. It’s all about rules – written and unwritten – his and hers.

Through the various characters he assumes, we learn the real truth (or at least one man’s truth). There’s Bobby, just dumped by the girl of his dreams and trying desperately to figure out what makes women tick. He’s clueless except for what information comes his way from the other male characters he portrays.

The Chauvinists! The retired Army Colonel (women want honesty) – the suave sexy foreign exchange student, Jean-Michel (women want communication) – Fast Eddie who likes to share his testosterone “if I were a woman I’d be a slut” (women want passion) – Old Mr. Linger who resides at Lapping Shores maintains the way to a woman’s heart is with a sense of humor – “if a man plays hard to get, he doesn’t get anything” Old Mr. Linger has been waiting for the perfect woman for 123 years!

And Ronnie Cabrezzi from the Bronx – fagetaboutit! It’s all about sensitivity.

Fear not my female counterparts because Dubac gets it right as it all boils down to three little words – I Love You – punctuated by misinterpretations, lack of understanding and confusion. Why? Because men have penises!

Robert Dubac is a funny guy, cleverly using his years of showbiz experience, as writer/actor/stand-up comic, to create two shows running in rep at Urban Stages through Aril 26th – “The Book of Moron” (reviewed here) and “The Male Intellect: an oxymoron?”   259 West 30th Street, 212 421-1380